If you missed part I, click here.  If you missed part II, click here. Otherwise, this list won’t make sense. 

Alright, let’s continue onward regarding some specific steps you can take to begin the process of diversifying your church.

7. GENERAL IDEA: Be aware of your approach.  Gentleness goes a long way. 

SPECIFICS: 

I want to first address White individuals.  We need to be realistic.  The majority of individuals in America are White. According to the 2019 US Census, approximately 76% of Americans were White, 18.5% Latino, 13%  Black, 1.5% Native American, 5.9% Asian, less than .5% Pacific Islander,  and 2.5% two or more races. 

Due to this majority status of White individuals, that means that the majority of minorities in this country have spent their whole lives assimilating to a majority “White way” of doing things in their jobs, interactions in broader society, in school, etc.  Many have become incredibly skilled at interacting with all ethnicities, shifting their approach where necessary. 

Many less White individuals have developed this same skill.  Due to the fact that White individuals are the majority in this country, many have simply continued to persist in their White cultural norms, belief systems, and ways of being and doing. Many White individuals have never even walked into a room in America where they were the minority. (Some have, but only while in other countries. I’m talking about in your own home country if you are American.) This is in direct opposition to most minorities, who regularly walk into rooms where they are the only one of their particular ethnicity. 

White church-goers need to be humbly aware that the ‘White way’ is not always the ‘right way’ just because we are in a country that often chooses the ‘White way’ as the default. 

If we want to genuinely connect with other ethnicities, we need to be very, very good listeners. We need to hear with our hearts and not just our ears.  Here is a critical point that you cannot miss: we cannot come barrelling in ready to share our viewpoints.  Keep your viewpoint to yourself for a while.  Just listen. I’m serious. Unless someone directly asks you for your perspective, keep it to yourself.  Ask tons of questions that show that you are willing to learn and just want to connect with others.  You’re not there to ‘fix them’ or ‘change them’; you are just there to be friends.

 I make this point in particular because all minorities have experienced the phenomenon of the “White Savior.”  What does this mean? It means that often, when White individuals come into minority spaces, they try to ‘fix everything’ to change it to the White norms of doing things.  Minorities can be especially wary of a group of White individuals showing up, as their experiences have taught them that as soon as White individuals arrive, they are there to tell the minorities all the ‘wrong ways’ they have been doing things for centuries. 

 This is not Christ’s approach. The Gospel is a global gospel, so there is no right or wrong except what is explicit in Scripture. So, like I said, as your church starts to do the hard work of diversifying, ensure that in White conversations with minority individuals, please remain humble and listen with open ears and hearts. 

This can also go the opposite direction, so I need to be clear that I am not only addressing White individuals here.  Due to centuries of racism and maltreatment, this can cause many minorities to develop callous hearts towards White individuals for good cause. There is zero judgment here if this is the place you are in mentally right now. Yet, I want to gently encourage you that despite the root of the pain our life, we are not given a free pass not to forgive. The way of Christ is always forgiveness. (That does not mean I am advocating for lack of boundaries. If someone is toxic, you may need to love “from a distance” for awhile. You definitely need to pray for them [ie: pray for your enemies and those who persecute you]) But, also–excluding these toxic situations–if you are an ethnic minority, then take an honest look at your heart. Is it open? Are you willing to listen and be a true friend to someone new? Are you willing to learn new ways of doing things, or are you entrenched in your own culture’s norms? Have you hardened your heart towards your White brothers and sisters because of what others have done? Ask Christ to help you forgive.

Be gentle. Be tender. 

Ephesians 4:32 says, “Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.” 

Please remember that in all your interactions.

8. GENERAL IDEA: There is no right way.

SPECIFICS:  All churches can get so caught up in their way of doing things that they alienate people who do church in a different way. Be cautious when you come together.  Be aware of your unintentional biases. 

Transformation Church, in Tulsa Oklahoma, has a great idea that I think could go a long way.  Once a month, they cancel their own services.  They encourage all of their members to visit other churches in the area.  They want to communicate several things:  

1. Our church is not the ‘best church.’ Every church has its own strengths and weaknesses.  As such, visiting other churches allow the members to experience different ways of being and doing.
2. We need to connect as a larger Body of Christ.  So, attending other churches in the community help us all connect as one massive Body in the city that can bring about larger change. 
3. Getting together with others helps improve our services as well, as we bring back new ideas and thoughts of how to run our own services.
4. Sometimes, it’s okay to share church members.  Some church members will come to our church as a result of our visit.  Sometimes, our members will leave and join another church as a result of their visit.  This creates a constant melting pot in all the churches versus stagnation.

One of the biggest criticisms I hear from non-Believers about the church is that they (non-Believers) do a better job at loving people than the church does.  They see our segregation and are not impressed with the love of our God as a result.  When we communicate love and multiculturalism outside our churches, it can draw non-Believers inside as they see us choosing to exhibit the attitudes of Christ. 

9. GENERAL IDEA: Serve towards reconciliation.

We don’t just talk about racial reconciliation, we serve towards it.

SPECIFICS:  Who are you choosing to serve as church? Are you specifically willing to serve in different communities than your own? If you’re located in a poor, rural area, are you willing to serve in a rich, suburban area? If you’re located in a rich, suburban area, are you willing to serve in a poor, urban area?  If your community is primarily Latino, are you willing to serve the local Black community? If your community is primarily Black, are you willing to serve your White brothers and sisters? If your community is primarily White, are you willing to serve your Asian brothers and sisters? 

Serving softens our hearts like nothing else in God’s kingdom. Serving creates moments when we look more like our Savior than ourselves. ( “For even the Son of Man did not come expecting to be served by everyone, but to serve everyone, and to give his life as the ransom price in exchange for the salvation of many.” (Mark 10:45 TPT)) When we can choose to serve in true humility, not believing ourselves to be ‘better than’ others, then the radical love of Christ is sent forth. 

But remember this important caveat: when you are serving, you are humble, not believing yourself to be above those you are serving. You need to enter the act of service with a strong recognition you all are on equal grounding.  Perhaps dig into the recesses of your mind and remember a time that you, yourself, needed a helping hand.  I’m guessing you had people help you in a way that felt great!  I’m also guessing you had people help you in a way that made you feel gross afterwards. Remind yourself of which approach helped and which hurt. 

Generally speaking, Great Approaches To Help include these concepts: 

1. Start any act of service by simply sitting down and getting to know someone.  Find your commonalities.  You both need to see the humanity in each other.  Don’t skip this step.  Many ‘service days’ simply show up and get immediately to work, believing that getting the most work done is of utmost importance.  While important, it’s not to be placed at the expense of the feelings of those you are serving.  Plan ahead your service schedule to include an opportunity for fellowship at the beginning of service. Include it again at break time or at the end of the day.
2. Invite the people you are serving (ahead of time) to join alongside you (if appropriate.)  For example, if you are offering to fix someone’s house, then offer to work alongside them. This not only gives them ultimate say-so in what repairs are done on the house, but also gives them the sense of pride of ownership that they are working on their own house, and you all are simply extra workers there to assist them in what they are already doing.  Make sure you allow them a voice to explain what they would like done on their house.  Ask them if they want to be the ‘point person’ for anyone who has questions throughout the day, or if they would prefer a member of the team be the ‘point person.’ 

Now,  this would not be appropriate if the person you are assisting is very sick or otherwise incapacitated and unable to help.  Use discretion.   

3. Allow a reciprocal relationship of serving to occur.  I remember when I was in high school, I went to Mexico for a week to build a house for a family.  The organization I was working with did an excellent job at including the family in the building process. They were there the whole time building alongside us.  Yet, when lunchtime came, they also got ready to fix us an entire meal.  There were at least forty of us, and I immediately balked at the idea!  I could not fathom how expensive it was to prepare the enormous feast that was being prepared right in front of our eyes.  I wanted to shout that they did not have to do that! In fact, please don’t do it!  I was wrong. Not only was their desire to feed us strongly based in their own cultural values, but their ability to fix us lunch everyday created a reciprocal relationship.  It made them feel like they weren’t just taking-taking-taking…instead, they also had something to give.  And, in fact, from their perspective, being able to feed the forty of us for a week was a much lesser gift than we were giving them–a new home. 
4. Remember there are multiple ways of ‘doing things.’  I know I keep harping on this point, but if you are ever going to be successful in becoming multicultural, remembering this point is of utmost importance. Thus, when you get ready to serve, ask their opinion regarding how they would like the service to be completed.  Ask as many questions as possible.  If you are there to serve a meal to their community, ask things like: 1. Where would it be best to set up? 2. Where would it be best to have fellowship with your community? 3. Would you like music to be played? If so, what is your preference? 4. Would you prefer to play games, or do you prefer we just stick to feeding the community? 5. Who is generally ‘in charge’ in this area? Would they still like to be in charge while we are here or would you prefer we ‘take charge’? 6. What do you all normally do to distribute food? 7. Are you guys open to ________, or do you prefer we do it like this _________ ?  We can never forget that communities almost always have their own norms, and it can be considered disrespectful if we come in and completely disregard what they are comfortable doing.

Conversely, generally speaking, Gross Approaches To “Help” include these concepts: 

1. Coming in and immediately getting to work.  Keeping your interaction with the community to a minimum and just sticking to the ‘plan.’  In most minority cultures, this approach is considered to be pretty sterile at best, and offensive at worst.
2. Coming in and assuming that your way is best and barreling past anyone who suggests something different.  Or, coming in and ignoring the body language of those around you. Most likely, they are communicating that they are not a fan of what you’re doing, but you’re ignoring it. 
3. Coming in as the ‘expert’ in all things. Being rigid and unwilling to be flexible.
4. Not being aware of cultural norms.  For example, most minority cultures place a heavy emphasis on respect for the elders of the church.  If you come in and brush aside the elderly in favor of whatever you’re doing, you’re going to build walls, not tear them down. 
5. Sending people who really aren’t equipped to do it. Yes, I do think that willing servants is what God calls us to be. I also think that He stretches us beyond our limits.  He often asks us to do things that scare us. But that doesn’t mean that if you feel terrified, and judgey, and triggered by crime that you should go join a prison ministry! There are some people that are just not going to be equipped for the specific service you are doing. They would be better utilized elsewhere, so let them do that so that you don’t do more damage to people already hurting. After all, how loved would someone in jail feel if the ‘servants’ come in and don’t want to talk, or pray, or hug anyone because they are not in the mind-space to do it?

…Tune in tomorrow for the fourth and final part of this series…

(In the meantime, come connect with me on twitter and let’s keep the conversation going: https://twitter.com/authorlizhouse )

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